Tag: Orks

World of Teef 2: Desperate Assault

World of Teef 2: Desperate Assault

[Second battle report from the set of Shrine World Planetary Invasion games that I’m playing with some friends. For part one, see here: https://orksesneverdefeated.com/2022/05/27/world-of-teef-1-da-tellyporta-attack/ ]

After blunting the initial teleporter-based Ork strikes, the Imperial forces moved to consolidate gains across the planet–hoping to whittle down the remaining pockets of Ork resistance. In one sector, the red-daubed forces of one Warband mingled with the mustard yellow of another, the survival situation of being pressed on all sides meaning more than clan affiliations. Their backs were against a literal wall, a big intractable section of collapsed cathedrals meant their only way out was to push back against the forces of Space Wolves and Sisters of Battle that had been hemming them in. And like any cornered beast, this made the Orks more dangerous.

As it was a Shrine world under assault, and the most dire of emergencies, it is no surprise that another incarnation of Saint Celestine awakened amongst the faithful. A figure born and reborn in times of strife, she appeared amongst the Sisters lines and encouraged the Space Wolves to unleash themselves in pure pursuit of the Ork forces. Squads of Space Wolves primaris stalked through the ruined streets, closing the gap on the Ork menace.

The Adeptus Sororitas was also helping close the net, with squads of Battle Sisters and their deadly Paragon Warsuits taking the more defensive posture with firepower. They finished a set of vows that the holy shrines celebrating their most valiant martyrs and heroes would not fall to the Ork predations on their watch: burning incense, lighting candles, and general other offerings to the Emperor. As the husks from the burnt offerings drifted on the wind, they marched forward toward the Ork line.

The Space Wolves were joined by a Knight, Canis Rex, a freeblade Knight piloted by Hekhtur Cereberan. Hekhtur had been working with the Space Wolves to find an enclave of Iron Warriors heretic marines and extinguish them, when the call to defend the Shrine world came. He gladly accompanied the Wolf lords to the surface to lend his Knight’s might against the Ork menace.

It was Canis Rex that led the core of the charge into the Ork lines, and while his massive las-impulsor blew the Orks’ massive Battle Fortress apart right away, it was smaller threats that started to take their toll on the mighty war machine. Squads of Tankbusta boyz loosed their rokkits into the mighty war machine, followed by a bomb squig laden with explosives that damaged the Knight’s right shinguard.

Elsewhere the spearhead of warsuits hitting the Ork lines were making progress. The Bad Moonz had to call their Warboss to the fore to help take out the marauding warsuits, only to eventually be grievously injured by the Wulfen dreadnaught’s scything axe blade.

Canis Rex shattered a Trukk and started turning its sights on the boyz that piled out, only to find a gang of Meganobz with Killsaws come rumbling toward it. With brutal efficiency their saws began carving pieces of the mighty war machine, and it had to cede the field to seek repairs lest it be overwhelmed and demolished. The Meganobz howled with frustrated triumph in its wake.

By choosing to attack headlong, the Imperial forces left their back lines open to the squads of Orks that were escaping the press of the cordon. A mob of Trukk boyz managed to get to grips with Saint Celestine, killing her attendants and gravely pressuring her own defenses. While she cut them down, they had pinned her in place long enough that the tide of Meganobz that followed the Trukk ran her into the ground with their devastating attacks.

The Space Wolves’ Librarian had taken some incidental fire during the battle, and was relocating back to the strategic objective spot to support the Battle Sisters’ lines. A marauding Trukk scored a hit on him with its Big Shoota, and in turning to face the vehicle he dropped his guard for just a second… when a lone surviving grot from a squad of Gretchin tossed a cluster of stikkbombz his way. The shrapnel from the explosions caught him right where his battle plate was already damaged, and a lethal shard of metal carved through both hearts striking him dead.

With the forces that led the attack on the Ork lines broken, the waves of Orks remaining spread out to the reserve spots where Space Wolves and Sisters of Battle squads of the line were holding key objectives. The firefights were valiant, but when the Orks reached their lines the savagery of their assaults finished off the stalwart defenders.

While the Orks had been hard-pressed during the tellyporta attack due to being spread out, they proved that when they could work in concert they were a force to be reckoned with. The third and final phase of the war for the Shrine World was about to commence: the protracted fight where each side tried its best to grind the opponents into dust and ashes. Too much of the world had been already trampled for the Imperials to call it a clean victory, but the Ork Waaagh was still not in firm control of the planet either. The fate of all hung in the balance as both sides raced toward the final confrontation.

Painting Progress

Got a fair amount done this phase. Finished a classic Rogue Trader era Weirdboy (with his Minderz firing him like a gun). I liked the idea of looting another Clan’s weirdboy, so my red and black Orks stole a Bad Moonz weirdboy to use for their forces. Really pleased with how it turned out.

The karma of finishing up units paid off in the game, as the Grot with the stikkbomb was clutch in the battle. Glad to get these done so I can have them to round out the Battalion.

And I did up a second unit of Gretchin just to keep that flow going. Good to get some of the horde aspects of the army painted up.

Painting Challenge 2022 Progress

Warhammer 40k Orks Power Level Painted: 72/365

Match Play: Da Shiny Tin’eadz

Match Play: Da Shiny Tin’eadz

Got a chance to play a new player at my local game store, Alex, and his Custodes. Not a Crusade or Campaign game but just for fun. Here’s the write up. Mission was a Nachmund mission: Display of Spiritual Might. My secondaries were Assassinate (he had lots of characters), Domination (I had numbers so thought I might get lucky, and this was definitely a “one has three, one has one” sort of mission), and Stomp ‘Em Good (kinda tough given Custodes were elite, but thought maybe I could pull it off… spoiler alert, I didn’t hah).

Game

It was dawn on the planet, a manufacturing world in the fringe of the Segmentum Solar just past the Cicatrix Maledictum. It had been 8,000 years since Orks ravaged the planet as a part of the War of the Beast in M.32, and yet now they were back. The Cicatrix played havoc on Imperial warp travel, so it well might be even worse on the incautious Orks. Whatever the reason, they had arrived, and the landers had been pouring down from the Space Hulk and pair of Kill Kroozers since they appeared in the system. In the early dawn light, the shadows of the force–particularly a massive Morkanaut–cast long ahead as they fought their way though the shanty town.

While the Custodes were charged with defense of Holy Terra, there was a contingent of them that had been pursuing off-world aims as part of a broader defense (they’d crossed paths with some Genecults that linked back to Terra). As such, they were closest to respond. The contingent, more formal and leadership-heavy than would be ordinary, assembled as close as their lander could get them to the Ork front lines.

The Captain on the Jetbike roared ahead of the main force–which were all on foot–to scout out the battlefield and engage with the Orks as soon as he could. Unfortunately he ran right into the towering Morkanaut. The blistering hail of weapons fire from the towering beast formed such a curtain of electrical discharge, the bike’s propulsion systems caught and sputtered. The metallic beast’s crushing claws managed to swipe the bike once, and with the damage it was all the Captain could do to retreat and get himself and the precious artifact bike back to safety and a Tech adept.

The other Custodes leadership group came in two waves, Trajann and a Blade Champion with the main line, with two Shield Captains in Terminator armor using short-range teleportation strikes to join the attack alongside a group of Allarus Custodians. The Orks had some sort of battlewagon with a massive drill that moved through the earth, followed by waves of Mega-armored Nobz. Trajann stood valiantly against them, but the huge battlewagon proved to be just too sturdy (or too ramshackle) to take down easily. He found himself beset by Meganobz while trying to down the clanking behemoth of a vehicle. The Blade Champion lept into the fray, killing swathes of the heavily armored Nobz himself, but the waves were just too many. Even a single slip in coordination and the massive saws or pincers of the Ork suits could damage. With the battlewagon continuing to grind down their line of troops, they had to cede the point and make a fighting retreat. This was not Holy Terra itself, and thus tactical discretion when damage started to pile up was the order Trajann enforced. He didn’t want to lose a single brother to the odd happenstance of an Ork attack while they were responding to a different matter.

One valiant brother had fallen in the main line, while the rest had retreated in the face of considerable damage. Given a chance, the brothers could cut through the Orks’ armor easily–but the sheer numbers advantage of the Orks, plus the fire of their combi-rokkits and skorchas took a toll in terms of damage. Numerous brothers took enough damage to need to pull back to safety.

One lone Shield Captain in Terminator Armor stood firm, refusing to cede the ground while the enemy still stood. Whether he had a link to the planet, a streak of stubbornness, or a vow against the Orks it didn’t matter: he stood toe-to-toe with the massive Morkanaut and resolved to take down the giant monstrosity before he left the field.

Seconds bled into minutes as the titanic clash continued. All the other Custodes had left the field, calling to their companion over vox that he should come with them, that this was a moment for discretion. The remaining Meganobz were turning around, consolidating objectives on the battlefield, and starting to look in his direction. The Morkanaut’s attacks were being stopped by careful parries alongside the raw power of his armor’s protective field generator, but even his near-eternal strength and training started to waver. Blow after blow came closer to hurting him, and the occasional weapons shot (as the thing blazed away with all guns as well) managed to wound him. His strikes were damaging the thing, limiting its own attacks more and more. But still, it wasn’t enough. The massive claw swung and he was a little too slow, and it seized his leg. With a surprisingly quiet “snip” the leg came off entirely, and the Shield Captain fell to the ground. The mighty machine started swinging again and again down onto him, pulverizing his form further and further–the smoke and steam from the rents where his weapon had scored the metal frame of the Ork machine seeming like boiling anger at this foe.

Pict caps of the fight–gathered by data-servo skulls–were relayed to Trajann’s display. He watched his brother, veteran of a thousand fights, battle valiantly but fall to the Morkanaut. His blood boiled. The Orks needed to be stopped. This was not Terra, but it was the Segmentum Solar. This was the domain of Man, not of Orks. He vowed they would return this fight to the Orks tenfold, and that the fallen Shield Captain’s sacrifice and fervor would not be forgotten. He appended the data file to auxillary artisans, to have a new vambrace made for the Shield Captain that would replace the fallen one–to honor his legacy.

Painting Progress

Finished up three Meganobz (from a set of 12 total new ones to add to my “Deffwing” force). Super-fun to complete them as always.

Painting Challenge 2022 Progress

Warhammer 40k Orks Power Level Painted: 64/365

Crusade: Chasing Shadows

Crusade: Chasing Shadows

More planetary empires continues, and my Orks have a foothold on one of the asteroids! Now to expand forces onward (mine are the Red logo Orks on the map):

The following battle report is from a fun, but decidedly one-sided fight against Frank’s Harlequins army.

Game Three

Big Mek Ursatz was having a particularly un-Orky feeling his mega armor mob made their way through some cathedral ruins on the asteroid they had landed upon–it must have been an Imperial moon at some point that had been blasted to bits by some really big bang. It was an un-Orky feeling because it seemed like something his Grot Oiler would be feeling instead: the feeling that the signals on his git-finder detection arrays built into his armor were being deceived by something dead sneaky and kunnin’. And the fact that he couldn’t smash the feeling with his claw or shoot it with his kustoma mega-blasta, well that made it all the worse and more grot-like.

Ursatz should have felt like the Big Mek that he was: his boyz were all outfitted in some seriously heavy gear, his tunneling battlewagon invention was not only lethal in battle but could help in clearing paths through the dense terrain, and most recently he’d repaired up a ruined Morkanaut whose thunderous stride accompanied the marching blocks of Meganobz.

The Orks were there for the scrap, as Warboss Drozgurk had demanded they have a steady supply of scrap so his Nobz could always be in the best of the best armor. Even tho they weren’t Bad Moonz, Ursatz had a feeling that Drozgurk would have made a fine Bad Moon with his proclivities. The squads of Meganobz fanned out to locate the scrap piles, and swarms of Gretchin laborers moved to take them away. Maybe it was that the Beakies that were patrolling this chunk of space rock weren’t fighting them yet–they was with another off-shoot of the Waaagh over on a nearby Shrine World. But again, the odd readings on his git-finder kept registering, and the needle vibrated stronger and stronger.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, shapes started materializing from the ruined background. Images of almost pure-white light, their forms shrouded in the brightness, bipedal warriors started streaming across the courtyard toward the Ork force. The drill-equipped Bonebreaka sped forward through the loose dirt and rock mixture to come to grips with the shapes, but it was too late. Fire from spinning and shimmering flying boats started tearing the battlewagon to bits, along with the Morkanaut as well. Some of the weapons were various energy types, but the tell-tale one revealed itself when the swarm of labor grots were cut down: a hail of shuriken meant panzies. And soon enough it was clear these were those laughin’-and-dancing panzies with their camouflage-pattern clothes. “Like Blood Axes…” Ursatz thought: “dey iz still able to be dead sneaky in the middle of nothing because of da patterns.”

He finally got a good look at one of them as it appeared behind their lines, and sprinted across the open ground and into the remains of a ruined cathedral where Warboss Drozgurk was searchin’ up some teef or something. It didn’t surprise Ursatz that the foe was wearing red in his checks and dags camouflage given how fast he could run. The assault on Drozgurk was sudden, and effective. Before Drozgurk even knew what was happening he was cut up in eighteen different spots, and one of his legs was severed at the knee. All the boyz piled in that direction to get Drozgurk to safety, or maybe because that’s where the krumpin’ was happenin’. Either way, that left the rest of the force to get shot up by jets that flew around in circles. Ursatz called for the “attack in another direction” (as Orks don’t retreat), and they left whatever scavenge was there to the panzies–along with both the wrecked battlewagon and the wrecked Morkanaut which still was flaming from an explosion. Ursatz weren’t sure how he and iz boyz would stop da laughin’-and-hidin’ panzies if they met again, but he was starting to work on some hunches.

Painting Progress

Getting the process of the armor down on these guys, and really liking how it’s turning out. Finished two more groups of three Meganobz, and I’ve got 12 more to go! One squad of nine and two squads of six feels pretty epic in doing up a Deffwing sort of feel (akin to the all-terminators Deathwing army Dark Angels Space Marines can field).

The little bit of blue on power coils is just enough, and maybe my favorite part of the models. I also like the scratches and dents and how they turn out nicely with highlights and lowlights together.

In addition, I finished up a Morkanaut for our Knight Night Fight Night 2 event. Pretty pleased with how it turned out as well. The other vehicles will have less red (more balance of black panels and metal, just by the shape of the models), but this one was still really fun. The model is kinda stinky in the game: potential to kick out a ton of damage on a lucky turn, but really dependent on dice spikes. Still, the Knight Night event was a tag-team match where I paired it with a Stompa, so giving that invulnerable save seemed like the thing to do. Probably won’t field it super-often except in really big games, but was great to build and paint, and makes a cool centerpiece.

Making good progress, even tho I’m starting Orks much later in the year than I’d like. We’re 154 days into 2022, and I’m only at 58 points of painted Orks. Again, my goal is to paint 365 points of some same army. And I’ve definitely painted up a lot of Necrons and Drukhari and Eldar this year already, not to mention Genestealer Cult. But still, one army needs to be the focus and I’m getting back to my Ork roots. So time to pick up the pace for the summer.

Painting Challenge 2022 Progress

Warhammer 40k Orks Power Level Painted: 58/365

World of Teef 1: Da Tellyporta Attack

World of Teef 1: Da Tellyporta Attack

[This is a battle report from game one of our Shrine World Planetary Invasion set of linked games that I and a few friends are running]

It was a near dawn, and quiet in the courtyard of memorials honoring those who sacrificed their lives during the fifth Donarian Gulf expedition. The Shrine World of Suldon Tertius was covered in such collections–pilgrims who wanted to pay proper respects could expect to spend sixteen months of dedication to visit each and every site on the planet. However, most of the current pilgrims were currently held in large hab defense structures, hastily armed with what firearms they could be provided as rough masses of conscript infantry. As the Orks had arrived at Suldon.

The center of the park, with its entry-ways to the the underground catacombs of the penitent fallen and carefully manicured hedges and park-lets of trees, had fallen under the shadow of the Roks that had appeared in the system. The space battle had been short and quick, as even with the Space Wolves Battle Barge present to support the system defenses the Orks were just too numerous and the Astartes transport had to retreat to a safe distance on the far side of the system’s sun after considerable damage. The fact that it had destroyed six of the Ork Roks and still had to retreat was a testament to the multitudes of force that the Orks had brought: a full sixteen Roks remained operational, with countless Kroozas and escort craft circling around them.

The Sisters of Battle and the Space Wolves who had landed had begun fanning out across the surface of the Shrine World, but with Ork assaults there was always some uncertainty. Different pods of defense started forming, gravitating toward the various shrines of fallen warriors almost subconsciously. When the Orks could strike anywhere, being close to the statue immortalizing a fallen comrade or martyr had just just seemed… natural.

The delay in the Ork landings was worrying all the Imperial commanders. There were clearly bulk landers all through the Ork forces, but the normal uncoordinated stream of them toward the ground was not happening. They were delaying for some reason. That may have calmed some of the Ministorum leadership, but the Space Wolves were wary–as any time Orks acted oddly there was something bigger at stake. What command were they waiting for?

Turned out it wasn’t a command so much as a strategy, as with a sudden shuddering corona of energy in the sky huge discharges started firing on each one of the Roks. There were huge engines in them with enormous whirling gyros, presumed to be part of the crude vessels’ propulsion systems. And maybe they still were. But the bursts of electric blue sparks across each of them were answered by huge bursts of electric blue on the surface of the Shrine world. Millions of glass candle holders exploded in unison across all the shrines as wave after wave of strange electrical discharge were focused on the ground all across the planet. And soon enough, what had seemed to be some sort of planetary-sized energy weapon at first revealed its true nature: they were bursts of crude teleportation energy. The Orks were teleporting their vanguard forces to the surface all over, and raiding groups charged even while they were starting to materialize. From bands of whole Meganobz striking in spearhead formation to sets of trukks, wagons, and even larger vehicles of destruction, whole Ork warbands were materializing in haphazard fashion all over the surface of the planet. Only then did the bulk haulers start to descend on the planet, seeming to use the teleport strike as the window to land the rest.

The initial onslaught of the Orks was sudden and came from every direction. Materializing trukks took off at breakneck speed, disgorging their Trukk Mobz right into the lines of the Adeptus Sororitas. While flamers took their toll, the raw force of the Orks’ savagery dropped Battle Sisters left and right.

At the heart of the Sororitas’ forces were some Paragon Warsuits and an Immolator tank. The flames and raw firepower from both started clearing Orks as fast as they could arrive. A desperate group of Kommandos tried to unleash a Bomb Squig to detonate on the tank, but sadly the wiring or explosives must have been a dud as the beast was merely crushed under the steel tracks of the Sororitas tank.

The Space Wolves unleashed their elite Wulfen infantry to bolster the Sororitas lines, answering Ork fury with their own. The sheer numbers of Orks and the deadly Power Claw of their Nob slowly whittled down the savage warriors–their contemptuous armor only able to stop most blows but not all, and the sheer volume of Orks they faced seemed innumerable.

On another front of the battlefield, one of the Ork Warbosses charged past his lines with a frenzy to reach a Space Wolves dreadnaught. With a mighty howl he braved the guns, the bullets bouncing off of his armor and flames charring his skin. Reaching the dreadnaught, his power claw tore into it, disabling cables and pistons before finally sheering the central column of the metal giant itself. The suit tumbled to the ground as he howled in triumph.

Not every Warboss fared as well: the Bad Moonz Warboss found himself facing a Wulfen Dreadnaught. Even with his shiny armor he could not withstand the frenzy of the Space Wolves’ ancient, and he was forced to retreat with a huge set of gashes and one of his arms hanging by just a string of tendons (he was already thinking about which Mad Dok would be best to staple it back on for him so he could get back into the fight).

Subsequent waves of Orks kept appearing as the tellyportas flared on the Roks in the sky. Ancient battlewagons that have seen hundreds of battles (and hundreds of repairs) emerged from the shimmering energy, all laden with more and more Orks. A valiant Castigator crew started firing their multitude of heavy bolters and turret cannon into the hordes, cutting them down as fast as they were arriving. Because the Orks were showing up piecemeal, the Space Wolves and Sisters both got chances to reload, recover, and recoup ground in the face of the onslaught.

A band of Meganobz surged forward to try and loot the shrine they presumed was at the foot of a great hero statue, only to be answered by an intense counter-charge from the Space Wolves. While the ordinary chain swords did little to the armored behemoths–literally each almost a tank or dreadnaught themselves–the merciless Thunder Hammer of the Sergeant of the squad laid considerable waste to them. The Orks were finally cut down, leaving the shrine intact and that side of the battlefield safe from Ork aggression.

Sustaining the tellyporta attack seemed to be starting to cause problems. One of the remaining Roks in the sky suddenly exploded with blue energy as the engines used to power the transporters must have overcome whatever non-existent safety procedures the Orks didn’t put in place. A set of cruel battlewagons with drill-like nosecones started to shimmer into the battlefield but instead disappeared into the void with the explosion. The Orks were finally bringing some bigger units, but it was proving to be too little and too late to give them a foothold on the center of the Shrine city. Even a mighty Skullhamma battle fortress was brought to a standstill thanks to the resilience and might of the Paragon Warsuits.

One band of Shoota Boyz was able to close on the entrance to the catacombs, even while the rest of the forces were repelled. A squad of Sisters of Battle stood resolute, pouring bolter fire and flamer promethium into the advancing Orks to keep them at bay. Not a single Ork survived to fight them, and the entrance to the catacombs–where the real prize of tens of thousands of martyr’s skulls, and the teeth inside them, waited.

The Orks had been beaten due to their piecemeal arrival, and their tellyporta sneak attack effetively blunted. With the shock and awe of the strike passed, the reinvigorated forces of the Imperium intended to push the advantage: finding pockets of Orks from the various landing craft, surrounding them, and eliminating them. Meanwhile the Warbosses were desperately trying to organize all the disparate bands of Orks and materiel into proper krumpin’ shape to push back against the humans’ advances. The next battle for the Shrine world loomed on the horizon.

Painting Showcase

Painted up a few units for this battle, including a Warboss that I’m particularly pleased with. I’ve been swapping around which Clan I’ve wanted to play, and tried a few in the game. So I wanted one who could reasonably be most any clan: Goffs, Snakebites, or Evil Sunz could all work for this, and certainly Blood Axes (no uniform camo but uniformity in armor) and a Freebootaz clan would work too. I’m especially liking the yellow squigs with all the red (and I want to paint up a unit of Squighog Boyz soon to see if that continues to look good on the larger models.

I finished the highlighting on the first of the units of Meganobz. I’ve got two other trios almost there (just need the final bright highlights on the armor). Pretty pleased with them, and my plans of doing a “Deffwing” style army seem to be well-placed. It’s silly, probably not very good, but a lot of fun to run!

Finally, the battlewagon that never showed up for the battle (my reserve rolls were horrendous in this game… literally 15 PL of models never were placed on the table until it was far too late for them to make a difference). This is a slight mod and repaint of a Death Guard assault drill I modded up (from a Mantic Games cyber-rats driller kit): added some Ork plates and glyphs and a single big shoota, and behold: a Bonebreaka Battlewagon. It turned out pretty slick, and just kinda silly to imagine the Big Mek who decided that drilling their way into a fight made sense.

That’s all on the painting front: for the next update I’ll certainly have more Meganobz done, and perhaps a fun bigger surprise!

Painting Challenge 2022 Progress

Warhammer 40k Orks Power Level Painted: 27/365

Crusade: Waaagh

Crusade: Waaagh

The Planetary Empires Crusade campaign at my local shop (the amazing Drawbridge Games in Pittsburgh, PA: https://www.facebook.com/groups/499640580206921) continues to go on, as new players join and the cluster of planets are joined by some mysterious asteroids. And while I’d been doing some raiding (just taking territory away from others as I swapped thru lists/armies), it’s time to rejoin with an active terrain-taking faction. And a new project. Because of course, new project.

Prologue

Aboard the Rok star fort, Big Mek Ursatz, was putting the finishing touches on the last of the tellyporta pads. His Warboss, Drozgurk, was planning something big. They’d maneuvered the Rok into the system alongside some larger chunks of a moon or planet that were loosely swirling a bunch of planets–planets where wars were raging with all sorts of foes. Perfect spot for the attack. Drozgurk knew that this was Bad Moonz space, so he had taken his time–and had Ursatz really make sure the boyz had all the good gear. They’d kitted up a whole host of Nobz in Mega Armor, ready for teleport strikes all over the surfaces of these planets: landing groups to create the beachhead that the other boyz could come through with conventional landings. With the chanting reaching a fever pitch, Ursatz went to the grand control panel, where a big switch was waiting to be thrown. He could see rows and rows of the clanking armored Meganobz watching him, and without a second thought flipped the switch so the tellyportas started buzzing and sending each group off to who knows where.

Game One:

Big Mek Ursatz’ group landed in a Shrine area of a planet, and immediately set out to do what they do best: loot and destroy. Soon enough, the Sisters of Battle answered the call, as the Orks were poking around the sacred shrines of the planet. At this point the Sisters command didn’t realize what the Orks were looking for, so they committed a small expeditionary force to probe the Ork force and find its origin (still not realizing these were teleport strikes from high in the system).

While the Sisters had some heavy weapons, they did not have enough to deal with the sheer weight of the heavy armored Meganobz that clomped their way through the Imperial streets. The occasional melta shot would demolish one of them, but the flamers and bolters did very little to halt the nobz’ advance. And once they got there, the sisters were torn to shreds by the furious attacks.

It was the lone Canoness who held the line against the Ork attack longer than expected. Maimed survivors fled to the rear lines where hospitallers waited. She survived wave after wave of assaults, managing to take blows as glancing and continuing to dish out destruction, primarily with her plasma pistol (that was running white hot with use). Finally, only after the last of the Sisters had made it free was did she finally try to retreat herself, only to be cut down at that point by the last few Meganobz. Already, imagifiers are working to spin the stories of her valiant sacrifice in the face of the Ork onslaught.

Game Two:

Bike Captain Telleem had his hands full on this mission to the Scylla Quintus system. The “Fangs of Shang”, the Deathwatch contingent that worked with Inquisitor Kryia Draxus, had been notified of the sheer number of different xenos that were plaguing the system and pitching raids against Imperial targets and each other. While Brother Lothar the Dreadnaught served as a stalwart, the rest of Telleem’s forces were experiencing the usual moments of confusion when battle brothers hard-drilled for centuries to fight with their own Chapters now had to team up with warriors of various different sorts. The differences in fighting styles across the Adeptus Astartes never failed to wow him when he thought about it.

Orks had been in the system for a while, but it seems like a new Clan was sending massed raiding parties in every direction through the system now. The prior ones were of the Bad Moon Clan, focused on their firearms. These new raiders were more heavily armored, and had devastatingly struck a blow against the Sisters of Battle in another quadrant. Their armor was Red, but it was unclear which Clan they might be (as every Clan had the belief that red pigment paints and dyes increase velocity potential of those that wear the color). Bike Captain Telleem had dispatched scouts and outriders both to watch for signs of Ork planetfall, and was surprised when his squad of Eliminators radioed in that they’d found an Ork assault party–but there was no telltale trace of smoke or sounds of crashing jet that explained their presence. It’s almost like the Orks appeared out of thin air. It was doubly-concerning, as the entire gang of them were outfitted in the heaviest of Ork armors available. Telleem raced his forces to reach the site where his Eliminators were staked out and observing the Ork advance.

The Orks were trudging their way through a persistent radiation cloud, their feet turning up the dust into the air that carried the radioactivity from some prior weapons strike. Telleem’s forces struck, and had the advantage of range on the slower-moving Orks. Eventually some of them reached Brother Lothar, only to be pulped by his massive power fist–the ancient war suit suffering only minor damage from their tearing claws. The final wave of Orks fell, leaving much of Telleem’s force intact.

Yet he had not figured out how they were getting to the surface, and where the broader Ork force’s punch would fall. Telleem finished filing his report for Inquisitor Draxus with the following conclusion: “Initial Ork foray in sector 14 neutralized, source of assaults unknown. Seek further intelligence to isolate threat.” He then went to break up a fight that was brewing between a petulant Mantis Warrior and a surly Son of Medusa. The work of the Deathwatch was what he was made for when xenos were approaching on the battlefield. Less so at other times.

Painting Progress

Some initial painting on the Orks. This is the test model for the color scheme, which is the same exact scheme I use on my Drukhari hah. I think the highlights are a bit toward the comic style but then the Orks benefit from that–and it accentuates the battle damage and shoddy construction without having to look “messy”.

First finished Unit is a Big Mek in Mega Armor with Kustom Force Field and Grot Oiler. He’s likely of much more use with other non-Mega Armored models (as a weapon needs to be a -5 modifier for his Kustom Force Field to matter). But still, I liked the model and wanted to start with him.

More to come: going to get to a full 9 Meganobz at first, then grow from there.

Painting Challenge 2022 Progress

Well… now it’s Orks… maybe? Maybe I should lump all my stuff this year together? But let’s get it started with Orks and maybe we can hit the big number hah. So here goes:

Warhammer 40k Orks Power Level Painted: 6/365

Invasion: Shrine World

Invasion: Shrine World

+++++Excerpted Account of Lanto Tokastio, Lexmechanic of the Adeptus Mechanicus, appended to Ministorum world Suldon Tertius, Segmentum Obscuris+++++

It’s difficult to trace the movement of idea, you realize. Quite difficult. And I’m a specialist. My main task has been monitoring the spread of language amongst the faithful for sixteen cycles now on our glorious Shrine World of Suldon. The way that one parishioner’s slight variation in phrasing a blessing to the Emperor can not only spread but become dogma. To illuminate to your Ministorum superiors just how faith… flows… from pilgrim to pilgrim as they arrive on our great world and depart carrying faith to all the planets in the Imperium.

And I’m certainly not a xenobiologis, but the core root of the Orkoid language structures are still Low Gothic. So while they do have some degree of differences, we presume that ideas might spread from Ork form to Ork form using similar structures of spoken language, mimic behaviors, and more. That is excepting the strong evidence of imprinted notions in their species or collective psychic potential, of course.

This is predicated on the presumption that the Orks indeed do want what their hideous broadcasts from those massive landing vehicles demanded. I think the exact broadcast was “World of Teef. We iz here for da Teef!” As such the root of our question is: why did this Waaagh migration go out of their way to reach Suldon Tertius? They skipped many more resource-laden and other defended systems to get here. And given that Orks seek scrap and a fight most of all, those would have come to the Waaagh easier elsewhere.

There’s a bigger plan in place, and the best I can figure is that some notion made its way through the race to their leaders. In the course of their predations, they did hit another Shrine World prior to heading here–Karasan VII–which was pre-emptively subjected to Exterminatus when it was found that the holy tombs of heroes were being pillaged. At least some Orks returned to their ships from the initial assaults and before the planet was destroyed. And my best hunch is that some one of the Orks found their way into the crypts there.

For good Imperial citizens, the crypts are places of solemn contemplation on Shrine Worlds–as we pass by the stacks of skeletal remains we’re reminded of all who sacrificed their lives for conquests in the great Emperor’s name. But what would an Ork see? What would they see?

Teeth. “Teef”. Rows and rows of skulls, all of which hold the prospect of the teeth amidst them. All it would take is a single Ork who saw the catacombs making it back to its ship. Then when relating tales to each other in transit–as Orks are known to converse socially, mostly as a prelude to violence, but still–that single Ork could have remarked that it was a shame that Karasan VII was destroyed as underground it was full of teeth. I’m sure it would have been much more crude. [At this point Lexmechanic Tokastio adopts a low loud voice to impersonate an Orkoid]. “Pity wut da planet gone. Dem tunnels wuz full of teef, I tellz ya.”

Again, I’m no xenobiologis, but if ideas can spread through rumor, idle comment, and more amongst Imperial Gothic, is there a reason that speech in the Orks’ crude Low Gothic could not be the same? We see it amongst our own Low Gothic speakers. Why would the Orks be different? The story of vault after vault of teeth could spread, and not just spread but grow. Certain points of re-telling one is inclined to exaggeration. And goodness knows the Orks are stupid in their way. Stupid enough to believe it? To believe that an Imperial Shrine world is a haven of teeth waiting to be simply plucked from the skulls of the dead?

Never mind the fact that yes, with our massive population on Suldon plus the contents of our own crypts, that there are technically more teeth on this world than perhaps all but the densest of hive worlds. And yes, to the extent that a Waaagh of Orks could hyper-fixate on the commodity that passes for wealth in their system, it would make them see this world as particularly valuable. And the Orks are certainly cruel enough to torture some captives from prior Imperial worlds they’ve demolished to learn of the nearest other Shrine World.

That’s my guess of why they’re here. Memetic language actions transforming pure happenstance into aggressive focus. My only hope is that the Sisters of Battle who were first dispatched, and the company of Space Wolves that are en-route to support with counter-planetfall, will arrived in time. Sources say that the general Ministorum troops and pilgrim-conscripts are not stopping the Ork forces spreading from their landing zones. May the both the Sisters and Sons of Russ save us from this mad Greenskin attack on our planet.

++++++ End Excerpt +++++

Escape from Hulk 13 – Rules

Escape from Hulk 13 – Rules

This event is a Kill Team-based narrative event for 1-12 players, run exclusively for  Drawbridge Games’ “Extra Life” 24 hours of gaming marathon fundraiser. Players take the role of a single trooper, and fight their way through massed opposition to escape from a dangerous space hulk. Expected play time is 3 hours, and the event starts at 8:30am to kick off Extra Life!

Players can pick any of the characters off the following list. The requirement is that players bring one single painted Warhammer 40k miniature that correctly represents the model that they are fielding. Players will do equipping of the model during the game, so any wargear depicted on the model is fine for the event. Players should also bring dice of their own, any tokens, and a measuring tool for the game.

Space Marine Scout Sergeant
Space Marine Tactical Marine
Space Marine Reiver
Space Marine Intercessor
Astra Militarum Infantry Guardsman Sergeant
Astra Militarum Tempestus Scion
Ad Mech Skitarii Ranger Alpha
Ad Mech Skitarii Vanguard Alpha
Chaos Cultist Champion
Poxwalker
Tzaangor Twistbray
Asuryani Guardian Defender
Asuryani Storm Guardian
Asuryani Ranger
Asuryani Dire Avenger
Drukhari Kabalite Warrior Sybarite
Drukhari Wych Hekatrix
Necron Warrior
T’au Fire Warrior Shas’ui
T’au Fire Warrior Breacher Shas’ui
Termagant (tho I would not recommend that choice)
Genestealer Cult Acolyte Hybrid
Genestealer Cult Neophyte Hybrid

Nothing else is needed to prep for the event, other than having the rules handy for your model and reflecting on this opening to the event’s story:

The last thing you remember is the war against the Orks. They were retreating from your force, and then it happened. You rounded a corner, and saw a strange Ork in a mechanized metal frame. The Ork had a strange device hanging over its shoulder, and the final thing you saw was a strange blue light burst from the device and fill your entire field of vision. 

Lucky Git

Lucky Git

This is a 40k story battle report featuring my Bad Moons Ork army versus Andy’s Tzeentch Daemons force. We’re gearing up for a big event, and Andy’s been painting up a storm, so we wanted to get some models on the table for a scrum.

Skizzit had never been a lucky git. Skizzit worked hard on his Warboss’ trukk, mostly repairin’ the whatnots and makin’ sure that the yellow paint was fresh. Skizzit’s Warboss was a Bad Moon, and that meant an eye for style and sumthin’ he called “sofikstikation”–which Skizzit understood mostly as lots of fresh yellow paint.

Orks vs Tzeentch Daemons 1

The Orks in Skizzit’s warband had been muckin’ around some ancient ruins, lookin’ for good loot amid the vacated humie structures that had been built. All Skizzit knew was that the humies had been here, and built some stuff to explore the ruins, but the humes weren’t around when the Orks arrived. It wasn’t long until one of the more knowy mekboyz got to turnin’ on some of the equipment the humies left, and then the fightin’ began.

Orks vs Tzeentch Daemons 3

Skizzit didn’t understand the things that came pouring out of the central chamber of the ruin, up into the abandoned work zone. They were fleshy odd things, in pinks and blues, with all sorts of flames everywhere. The Orks dove into battle with the things, but the fires were hot and when the Orks krumped ’em, they just came back with more.

Orks vs Tzeentch Daemons 2

The biggest of the squishy things was more massive than a Warboss, and had big old wings that carried him from fight to fight. Da Warboss got both his Big Mek and his Weirdboy to lead the attack on the thing, tho it was hard for Skizzit to tell if the thing was damaged at all by their attacks–as he barely understood what the Mek and Weirdboy did themselves. He did know that as the big thing killed its way through all the Orks and his fellow grots, things were getting out of control. What’s worse, is that Skizzit fled to the top of a building, only to find the big winged thing landing up there with him. He was trapped between the unsettling Weirdboy (who he always tried to avoid) and the great winged thing itself! The creature roared a massive roar as it sought to get at the Weirdboy, whose own eyes were glowing green with power. Skizzit fumbled in his bag for the small slugga he had nicked, vainly hoping to protect himself. The great bluish creature rushed forward, reality itself warping where his clawed feet treaded.

Orks vs Tzeentch Daemons 4

Skizzit raised his slugga and fired vainly, hoping that the noise would at least cause the thing to slow down or move away or something. Somehow, some way, the round from his slugga managed to catch the creature in the thigh. A hole appeared there, blistering with fire, and as Skizzit stood watching the air around the creature burst with sparks. The flaming hole in the thing’s thigh expanded and expanded, and after but a moment it was consumed in strange energy and reduced to ashes.

That was when Skizzit was taken from the Warboss’ Trukk work crew, and became part of the Weirdboy’s personal detail. He had defended the strange Ork once, and the whole crew said he’d have to keep doing it again. He was the blue giant killer, after all.

That’s how Skizzit found himself huddled in the shadows of the Weirdboy’s hut, suffering strange dreams and the Weirdboy’s frightening ranting every day, reflecting on how he never had been a lucky git.

Fungal Infection

Fungal Infection

This is a 40k battle report featuring my Bad Moons Ork army versus Mike’s Adeptus Mechanicus force, and used an opportunity to start fiddling with an effects filter app. Enjoy! 

The last transmission from the staff of the inter-system missile silo on Eomycot Secundus had been in status “filed but awaiting review” for two years before the logician got to it. There was nothing special in the transmission itself: a list of maintenance duties being performed on the tiny planet’s sole missile defense base. It was routine stuff: repairs from dust storms, a particularly resilient fungus in the subterranean levels, and other housekeeping tasks. Yet the next update was almost a year overdue. The logician flagged a inquiry, and in-system transmissions began to attempt connection. When no response was received for 10 iterations, a dispatch inquiry was sent to the closest Tech Priest Dominus with a request to investigate.

After a month of space transit away from the main exploration fleet in a Falchion escort, the Dominus arrived at Eomycot Secundus. An initial dispatch of scans showed that the settlement that surrounded the missile silo on the small planet was in complete ruins, but the silo was intact (complete with missiles ready in tubes). A servitor-piloted lander released a host of inspection servo-skulls, and the picts relayed back showed a disturbing sight: Orks and Gretchin were moving about the planet. With the missile silo in Ork hands, no fleets were safe passing by–yet the missiles had not been launched at their Escort, so the Dominus had to take a gamble. He detailed a personal guard to help him capture the silo.

Orks vs Ad Mech 2

As the Mechanicus landers made their way to the surface and began unloading troops, the Orks began to rally together. Long range picts displayed the Orks emerging from the silo itself, using the old imperial defense network as their own bastion for defense. Meanwhile Trukks, bikes, and more screamed toward where the Dominus’ force was deploying. At the center of the silo, literally perched amid the missile warheads, was a strange Ork shaman. Green power flowed from two bones he clashed together, and that seemed to energize the Ork forces. The Dominus wondered if the superstitious Ork perhaps thought of the missiles as a kind of standing stones of sacred technological ground, the way that the beast moved to defend them.

Orks vs Ad Mech 1

The first wave of Orks rushed from their ramshackle Trukks and into the Mechanicus lines. The Skitarii Rangers opened fire, and while the Ork numbers were thinned, the Ork assault still hit the Mechanicus lines hard. Slowly the heavier elements of the force–two Dunecrawlers–blasted their way through the Ork lines, the Orks who had so easily cut the Skitarii down until only two remained withered under the stubber fire. A rampaging Warboss tried to engage after jumping out of a Trukk, but one of the Dunecrawlers’ Neutron Lasers managed to zero in on him as he charged, turning the Ork leader into a smoking crater.

Orks vs Ad Mech 3

The Dominius himself had to engage the bothersome Ork Trukks that were tying up his Dunecrawlers and stalling the advance on the silo. One with a massive wrecking ball was finally felled by supporting fire, while the Dominus engaged another in combat. Firing up the energy field of his massive Ominissian Axe, the broad swipes eventually managed to cleave the engine of the Trukk in twain as it raced around him. A massive squig in the vehicle managed to chew some of his wires and dendrites, but the self-repair process allowed him to triumph.

 

Orks vs Ad Mech 5

The Orks delayed the Mechanicum heavy forces, but not quite long enough. While only the Dominus, two Dunecrawlers (one reasonably damaged and one intact), and two somewhat shell-shocked Skitarii rangers survived, they managed to clear out the complex of the primary Ork defenders. Despite the Orks ravaging the buildings all around the facility, the missile silo site was oddly untouched and undamaged. The usual Ork looting of such a technological place wasn’t even evident. The Dominus reviewed the evidence from the silo’s last transmissions, and it seemed to be utter silence. Two years ago the staff had been going down into the depths of the silo to clear out a spread of mildew, and two years later a strange Ork shaman was protecting the place like some strange holy site, almost a perverse parody of praising Terra for being the origin of mankind.

The Dominus shrugged. Xenos oddities were not his foray, and the vile greenskins had been eradicated. He requisitioned a replacement staff, who would arrive in a year’s time to the remote planet. He thought for a moment, and tagged an additional item on their task list for when they arrived: tunnel mildew. It wouldn’t do for them to refrain from cleaning the Omnissiah’s carefully constructed facilities when they arrived.

 

Orktober 2019: Git Race!!!

Orktober 2019: Git Race!!!

The month of Orktober is fast approaching, and the crazy Big Meks down at Drawbridge Games have decided to invite all the gits across the galaxy to the Drawbridge Mektown to participate in a little racing event. Thursday October 24th, 40k players are invited to Drawbridge Games to set a vehicle down and see if they have what it takes to win the Git Race 2019!

Bad Moons Warboss

Oi! You gitz! Callin’ ever one across da galaxy ta come race yer buggies, skiffs, and speedaz fer glory and da Git Race trophy! Wese Orks is gonna hold off on krumpin’ long enuf ter watch da race, so come get yer ‘umie, pansy, tinboy, an fishead vehicles into da starting line alongside da proppa Ork wagons. 

Race: The race will be held on Thursday, October 24th from 7pm to 10pm. The basics will be that you’re racing your vehicle around an Ork-built track, blasting at each other with your weapons, stopping at the Mek Pit to repair, and just plain trying to win the race. See the expanded rules below.

Prizes, Entry Fee, and Registration: There will be a trophy for the first place finisher, and a Mek Workshop terrain kit as a prize as well. The entry fee will be minimal, and registration is easy: just let the staff at Drawbridge know that you plan on attending and they’ll record ya.

Allowed Vehicles: Each faction (except Tyranids, sorry chums) has vehicle or vehicles that are permitted in the race. They’re generally light vehicles and transports: no walkers, flyers, or heavy stuff permitted. If there’s something we missed that you wanted to field and think would be appropriate for the race, let us know and we can see about adding it to the list. The table below is arranged by faction:

Faction Available Racing Vehicles
Orks Trukk, Kustom Boosta-Blasta, Shokkjump Dragsta, Boomdakka Snazzwagon, Megatrakk Scrapjet, Rukkatrukk Squigbuggy, Deffkilla Wartrike
Space Marines (all chapters) Rhino, Razorback, Primaris Repulsor
Adeptus Mechanicus Skorpius Dunerider
Astra Militarum Taurox (all variants), Chimera, Hellhound
Sisters of Battle Rhino, Immolator
CSM, Thousand Sons, and Death Guard Rhino, Plagueburst Crawler, Blight Hauler, Blight Drone
Chaos Daemons Skullcannon, Burning Chariot of Tzeentch, Exalted Seeker Chariot or regular Seeker Chariot, Horticulous Slimux (I mean, if you really want to… but he’s really slow and cannot plant any trees)
Eldar (all sorts) Wave Serpent, Raider, Venom, Starweaver, Vyper
Genestealer Cult Goliath Truck, Achilles Ridgerunner
Necrons Ghost Ark
Tau Devilfish, Piranha (all variants)

Rules: There will be an extensive oval track that will be raced upon set up on Drawbridge’s main table–including Orkish onlookers and even a snack bar. There will be a starting line, as well as a Mek Pit on one side of the track. Racers must move their speed each round, and can choose to advance as normal (note that Shockjump Dragstas and other models that have peculiar advance rules have those disabled, and advance as normal). If there isn’t space for your model to move past other vehicles, then it must stay behind them and maneuver for an opening. All vehicles must remain on the track or in the Mek Pit. Move order will be determined by place in the race (first to last). After the movement phase, every vehicle will get to either shoot or conduct melee attacks. Shooting can target any model AHEAD or beside the racer in the race (no picking on people behind, everyone guns for the models in the lead), and the model fires its weapons as normal using current 8th edition profiles. The normal “within one inch” rule is ignored in all ways, and instead a model can choose to melee any model within 3″ instead of shooting on its turn (representing the two vehicles jockeying for position). Shooting (or melee-ing) will also be done by place, but working last to first in order.

When a model is reduced to half its wounds, it rolls on the damage effects table below. Note that this happens every time a model is reduced to that point, and the new roll replaces the prior roll.

Half Damage Effects Table – Result Effect
1- Fuel Ignition A minor explosion causes a more volatile mixture. Until the vehicle is repaired for any reason, it gains +2″ to its Movement characteristic.
2- Crew Spooked The crew compartment suffered much of the damage, making them nervous and prone to putting more effort into racing. Until the vehicle is repaired for any reason, it MUST advance and adds an additional d6″ to its advance distance each time, but it cannot shoot any weapons.
3- Superficial Damage The damage done is all to the vehicle’s superstructure, no effect on its rules. When repaired for any reason this result is removed.
4- Suspension Battered The shocks of the vehicle (or it’s stability control in a hover vehicle) are damaged, making minor collisions on the track more damaging. Until it is repaired for any reason, the vehicle doubles the number of wounds it takes from melee attacks.
5- Fire in Fire Control Damage to the vehicle affects the weapons systems. Until it is repaired for any reason, the vehicle suffers a -1 penalty to all shooting attacks.
6- Engine Holed A round must have caught the engine! Until the vehicle is repaired for any reason, the vehicle suffers a -1″ penalty to both its movement characteristic and to Advance rolls.

When a model is reduced to zero wounds, it can only move at 2/3 its speed (rounding up) each turn (no advancing) and cannot shoot or melee. It must stop at the Mek Pit at the first opportunity. Models in the Mek Pit regain 2d6 wounds per turn they spend there rather than on the track (cannot exceed their maximum)–and may not shoot or melee while in the Mek Pit. Regaining wounds in the Mek Pit count as being “repaired” for purposes of the table above.

Squigs: Because of rolls on the Cheers and Jeers tables, Squigs may appear on the track. After all vehicles have moved, all squigs left on the track move 1d6″ toward the nearest vehicle. A vehicle that contacts a squig for any reason is hit by an attack with the following profile: Str 6, AP -2, D d3. The squig is then removed from the track. If all available squig models are on the track, no new squigs are thrown (count as the “a lot of yelling” result on the tables).

Cheers and Jeers: While the event is open to everyone, being an Ork crowd has a bit of an effect for Ork racers (and other participants lucky enough to be mistaken as looted vehicles). At various times, Cheers and Jeers will be announced. Every player, in order of their position in the race, then will roll on the Cheers table (if an Ork vehicle) or the Jeers table (for all non-Orks). Note that certain vehicles are clearly not Orkish and not looted, and must add +1 or +2 to their rolls, as indicated in this list: +1 to roll vehicles are the Skorpius Dunerider, Plagueburst Crawler, Wave Serpent, Raider, Venom, Starweaver, Devilfish, and Piranha; +2 to roll vehicles are the Primaris Repulsor and all of the Daemon choices, Blight Hauler and Blight Drone.

First the Cheers:

Cheers Table – Result Effect
1-    Encouraging Stikkbomb! A stikkbomb of encouragement gets flung from the crowd. Vehicle is hit by a single Str 3, AP -, D 1 attack. The vehicle also gets a bonus +1” to its movement this round due to the encouragement
2-    A lot of yelling! No effect
3-    Steer for da crowd! The Orks love a bit of a show. You can steer off the track this turn, rather than remaining on the track. However, you MUST collide with at least one Ork or Gretchen onlooker (bonus for more) in that movement, and must be wholly back on the track by the end of the movement (plan the move before moving the model).
4-    Dakka applause The crowd picks this vehicle as a favorite, and takes pot-shots at the closest other vehicle behind it. That vehicle suffers d6 Str 4, AP -, D 1 hits.
5-    Throw a squig! The driver of the vehicle can either catch and eat it (regaining 1 lost wound, counting as a “repair”) or drop it behind him, placing the squig d6” directly behind the vehicle
6-    Thunderous applause! Due to the psychic energy of all the cheers for them, the vehicle gets +2 to movement this turn

Then the Jeers

Jeers Table – Result Effect
1-    Mistaken for an Ork! Immediately roll 1d3 on the Cheers table instead
2-    A lot of yelling! No effect
3-    More yelling! No effect, but louder
4-    Oi, get dat one! Pointed out by the crowd, all players that shoot at this vehicle get +1 to hit this vehicle in the next shooting phase
5-    Throw a squig! Place a squig model 2d6” directly in front of this vehicle’s location
6-    Shoot ‘em! Vehicle is hit by d6 Str 4, AP -, D 1 shots from the crowd’s random firing
7-    Hit ‘em wit da trash! Vehicle is pelted with trash (and a chorus of boos) that gets into the workings of the vehicle (mashed into treads, sucked into intakes, etc). Reduce Vehicle to half speed and half results on advance rolls the next time that it moves.
8-    Gargant Kommand? Kill dat Git! Vehicle is hit by a single Str 10, AP -4, D d6 shot from the Gargant